Thursday, August 13, 2009

I Bought An Umbrella Today

I haven't slept the night before. I don't know if it was my head or my chest that was going to burst. I just know that it was my longest night ever.

I came to work late. If it was the weeks before when overnight activities were like eternity, going to work at almost midday would be acceptable. But this week is like the "calm before the storm" of my current project. Less pressure. Sleep is like gold free for all. I have all the reason to be at my desk at 9AM, but at almost 12NN I was like a lifeless piece of organic slab dragged to a place it doesn't want to be at that moment. Luckily, no urgent tasks for the day and the said professional boo-boo went unnoticed.

Exhausted by an unlikely combination of a seemingly insignificant stint on MS Excel and of a burden from a sleepless night, I walked out of the office; out of the building; out to nowhere. I kept walking oblivious from everything and everyone I passed by. Maybe this is one of the advantages when working in a very familiar place (say, home country); going from one place to another is already part of the body reflex. My feet seemed to have their own consciousness that time while my own waking self wandered as if dreaming.

And then I stopped.

Suddenly I felt lost. From a well-defined route of the bridgeway came the familar confusion of a department store. People coming from everywhere. Salesladies crossing everyone's path. Shoppers stopping on every stand to check out stuffs and prices. Though asking the exact reason why I found myself in a shopping mall, I continued on with my wandering desperate to free my mind from the things that bother.

And then I stopped. Again.

An array of umbrella displays caught my attention. The usual saleslady routine greeted me. Five minutes and I found myself carrying a three-hundred-peso black Grosser Schatten full-sized umbrella. I don't know what's with the umbrella aside from it is German and it is the new Fibrella, as per the courteous saleslady. I don't know why I bought it in the first place when I still have my two-year-old Baclaran-bought folding black umbrella stuffed in my backpack. It was all spontaneous. It was unplanned.

It didn't rain today though. I may have taken a wrong move buying this umbrella. But then, I remembered the other day when I cursed my old folding umbrella for failing to shield me from a heavy late-night downpour. Maybe it is time to buy a new one; a bigger and sturdy one. Impulsive it may seem but later realisations affirm my earlier action. Today might be the "calm before the storm" but this umbrella will surely be a dependable partner when another Milenyo hits the Metro.

Maybe that's what I need, being more spontaneous in my life. I can be spontaneous on things that doesn't involved long-term result that could alter the course of my life. A bus ride to Rio. Overnight videoke. A roadtrip up North. An Indochine backpacking. A new umbrella. But I tend to be a master planner when talking about what I will be ten years from now. I think to much. I plan too much. I risk so little. That is why a plan that doesn't go as planned strikes straight to the heart. Nothing prepares me from this.

At least I'm sure I will not get wet tomorrow when it rains.

GMT +8 Manila, Philippines

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